Long time no talk!
Let’s recap the fact that we are HAVING A BABY + my first trimester.
We recently went on a weekend getaway to Canada where we announced that we are expecting a baby in early May and are so excited! We found out I was pregnant at the end of August right before Labor Day Weekend. I had been feeling super sick, dizzy, SO TIRED, and nauseous which lead me to take a test. Honestly, I thought that there was absolutely no way that it could be positive so I didn’t even tell Joe. He was downstairs watching Netflix and I was getting ready for bed and just took an old test that I had stuffed away in my bathroom.
Sidenote: I am pretty sure it was one that I got as a joke on my bachelorette party 2+ years ago. LOL
Anyways, I took it and didn’t think much of it… I went back to check it and there was a super faint positive. My body almost hit the floor. I WAS (as the kids say these day) SHOOK. Right then I felt every single emotion all at once – fear, excitement, shock, nervousness, overwhelmed. You name it – I felt it. Now is the part of the story where I wish I had a super cute video or story to tell you about how I told Joe that we were expecting our first child, but I was not in the state of mind to plan anything. After googling “Does a faint positive still mean you are pregnant?”, I ran downstairs screaming/crying like a literal psycho and showed Joe the test. His reaction was everything!!!! He was so excited and turned into a total HYPE MAN. Then he went to get 10 more tests. HAHA
The positive got stronger with every one I took.
After all of the commotion we sat on the couch and cried, laughed, snuggled, dreamt, and talked. It was perfect. For a girl who has pretty much every life moment videoed or photographed/ shared with the world – I think that having this moment so private and intimate is so special and refreshing.
Ok so… now you may be wondering “weren’t you on birth control? How did this happen?”. If you’re a male and are reading this… you may want to drop off at this point. No, I was not on birth control and haven’t ever been. There is not a religious reason for this or crazy conspiracy that I believe in. I had just never been on it and wanted to choose natural family planning. Joe was behind this and I would say we did a pretty good job keeping up with it since we made it 2 years. In case you are wondering, natural family planning is where you keep track of your cycle/ ovulation. We used multiple apps to keep track. If you are super super regular this is pretty easy… well it was for me. So all this to say after going back and checking my tracking/app it seems that I ovulated later than expected and that the timing was just right.
The doctor won’t see you to confirm your pregnancy until you are 8 weeks so that was the longest 4/5 weeks of my life. Needless to say, I did a ton of thinking and praying during that time. The old cliche that everything changes when you hear your baby’s heartbeat is true. There are all kind of worries that creep in (at least for me). Worries about timing, worries about health, worries about being ready, worries about raising a human being in this crazy world – worries on worries. But when you hear that heartbeat every worry and every fear melts away. It is the must surreal thing I have ever experienced.
My first trimester has been tough – I went weeks throwing up every meal I ate and not feeling myself. Seriously, I felt like I had the stomach flu/worst hangover EVER for about 4 weeks in a row. But when I think about the fact that God has a plan and purpose specifically for this tiny human being in my tummy and that HIS TIMING is always perfect which has brought me so much joy and peace. There is no greater feeling of love than to know that God has trusted Joe and I to raise this baby to follow Him, to love others, and to be a bright light in this world. We choose to trust Him and lean into Him during this transition into parenthood/throughout parenthood instead of listening to the fears and worries of the world.