First year of marriage: 3 things I’ve learned
It feels like we got married yesterday so this is crazy. I love being married to Joe. I’m going to try to not make you throw up with this post… but marriage truly is amazing. There is no greater feeling in the world than to know that at the end of day, no matter what kind of day I’ve had or what kind of wife I have been, Joe is there for me and he loves me just the way I am.
1.Where two or more are gathered… prayer is powerful
Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I’m there with them.”
This scripture has come to mind a lot in this first year of marriage. As Joe and I make big and small decisions, have changes thrown at us by life, and dream together for the future, we’ve found that stopping to pray together has been so important. I’m a pretty independent gal and it’s been an adjustment for me to constantly remember that Joe and I are on the same team. We’ve found ourselves getting frustrated at times and the root of it has been us forgetting that we are on a team and that we are for each other. The Bible says that Jesus is there when we stop and seek him, and we believe that whole heartedly.
We have learned that we can’t do it alone and that bringing our decisions, issues and worries to Jesus is so powerful in our marriage. It’s brought us peace and togetherness like never before.
2. I’m Selfish
I mentioned in number 1 that I am a pretty independent gal… there is nothing wrong with that BUT it can be problematic when I let it lead to complete selfishness. I’ve learned in my first year of marriage that nothing is more divisive than selfishness.
I think being independent has caused me to struggle with this more so than others just because I have gone from looking after myself, guarding my own heart, and living out my own dreams to also looking after Joe and considering his feelings and dreams. I’ve learned that when I fight to defeat selfishness (which starts everyday when I wake up and I often fail) we feel more connected as one which leads to joy, romance, and peace in our marriage.
If we both fight selfishness by being the first to say sorry, the first to surrender, the first to say I love you, the first to do the dishes, the first to serve, the first to consider the budget (rarely me), and the first to lift each other up we are #WINNING.
3. REAL TALK
This one is hard to explain. I know that communication is key in any relationship but I feel like it’s even more important in marriage. I talk to Joe all day long – I mean I live with the man – so we are always communicating, but there have been times that, after awhile, I began to feel distant from him. It would confuse me because I live with him and do everything with him so why on earth would I feel this way. I realized that there’s a huge difference in living with someone and chatting with them all day and talking/ investing in them with a purpose.
I know this one sounds like common sense, but I feel like it’s super sneaky… like all of sudden life goes by and I realize I haven’t taken the time to actually talk to joe, to ask him hard questions… ask him about work, life, what he’s feeling, how he’s doing, etc.
We’ve learned in this first year to hit pause and have REAL TALK. It is during these times that I fall even more in love with him.
However, the most important thing I have learned in year 1 is that this man was hand picked for me… I can’t wait for year 2!
P.S. The hot babe in the photo above is our wedding photographer and she is amazing – check out her work here.
Venue: Chandelier Grove | Florist: Striking Stems | HAMU: Adorne Artistry | Brides Dress: Brickhouse Bridal | Bridesmaid Dresses: Bella Bridesmaid |Cake: Peace, Love, and Cake | Catering: Master Chef | Photography: Haley Rynn Ringo | Videography: Cakewalk Films | Band: Royal Dukes